I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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