What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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