Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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