I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
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sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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