dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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