there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Found the puke drawer
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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