I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
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I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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