Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
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My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
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