I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize