Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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