Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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