You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize