Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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