I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize