He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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