It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
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Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
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The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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