I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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