Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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