I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize