I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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