i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize