So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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