fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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