Pants 0. Shit 1.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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