Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
this hospital has no fireball
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize