Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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