Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize