Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
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can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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