Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
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Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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