i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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