the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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