I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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