dude i'm inner monologue high
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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