We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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