Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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