i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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