she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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