we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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