Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
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He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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