I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize