Barsexuality is the new black.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
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I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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