So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
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last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
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At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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