I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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