Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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