u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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