I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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