I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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