New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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