i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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