So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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